We all know how important it is to communicate with our spouse. Sadly, when you are busy raising children, working, volunteering and well… being an adult, having the energy and time to talk to our spouse seems to get pushed to the bottom of our lists. Yet, I am reminded over and over again how important it is to keep the lines of communication open.
The question many of us ask ourselves is how in the world are we suppose to ensure we have the time and the energy to communicate with our spouse when our lives are so crazy? Let’s break it down into two parts.
Where do you find the time?
We all wish that we had more time. The fact remains that each of us only have 24 hours in a day. Sleep takes up 6-8 of those hours, 8-9 of those hours are dedicated to jobs (if one or both of you work outside the home), then you factor in household chores and children and BAM…the day is gone. Yet, if we are all diligent we can find the time to continue having an amazing conversation with our spouse that isn’t just a quick “good morning” and “goodnight”. Most of us are stretched to the limit, because we have actually overextended ourselves with work, outside projects and attempting to please all those around us, all because we are afraid to be honest, and say NO. How can you remedy this?
- Re-evaluate your time. Write out the things you are spending time on during the day. Write out the amount of time you spend on each. It may surprise you to see where all your time is actually going.
- Allow yourself to to step down. We have all felt obligated to volunteer or take on new tasks that our heart wasn’t in or that we no longer feel the desire to serve. These are things from which we really need to carefully consider stepping down.
- Delegate. If you have older children delegate out some tasks around the home. Not only will this free up a little time (after a little training), but it is also helping your children gain ownership and teaching them responsibility.
- Be creative with your time. Your spouse would appreciate getting notes from you, texts and phone calls. Sure face to face interaction is great, but sometimes just a short little note is the next best thing.
Where do you find the energy?
Many of us are dragging just to get through the day. Our energy levels are well below what we truly need to function and so, we are running on empty. We simply feel as though we have nothing left to give. But, there are a few tips I have used to help bring up my own energy.
- Take care of you. Taking care of yourself isn’t always easy, especially as a mother. We seem to burn the candle at both ends and to keep up with everything. However, taking care of yourself means getting into bed at a decent hour, maintaining a healthy diet and taking time to rest. Yes, it sounds kinda counter productive to rest, but our bodies were not made to go 24/7. Take time for yourself and you will have more time for others.
- Have a daily devotion time. Taking time for a daily devotion with the Lord keeps us focused on things that are important, which will allow us to see those things we need to release. Those moments with God also help us see and understand our spouse according to Him, so we love them more and communication becomes easier.
As you do these things you will then discover you have time and energy to truly begin to connect with your husband.