My husband and I didn’t date before we got engaged. We were very good friends and while I had prayed for several months about us becoming more than friends, I saw no interest from him. Then one evening he surprised me and asked me to marry him. I said yes and that was that! We were married 6 months later. This year we will celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary.
In some ways it feels as if we’ve only been married a few years, but in other ways it feels like we’ve known each other a lifetime. How can that be, you ask? It comes from dating your spouse.
Every time we spend time together, I find out new things about him and he about me. Dating your spouse may seem a little strange to some people, but it is necessary. I will admit, I wasn’t convinced it was important for quite a few years. In fact, my husband and I rarely went out by ourselves after kids came along.
Between jobs that had odd hours, no money for sitters and very little energy after our long days…we let our date nights slide. For a while it wasn’t bad, because we were in survival mode. We would back to them eventually. Here we are 12 years later and we still have to fight for our date nights, but we have made it work. We realized we needed to make them a priority, so we did. Making Date Nights a priority in your relationship means you want more – more time with each other, a deeper connection with each other and a relationship that will last beyond the children.
3 Reasons to Make Date Nights a Priority
- To Take a Break – With our busy lives – children, work demands, church functions and family – it can be easy to become overly committed. There have been times in our marriage that we needed just an hour or two to get away. Away from the normal, hub-bub of the household chores and taking care of children. We needed time to see each other as people again not just “Mom” and “Dad.” I used to feel guilty about “needing a break,” however I now know it is best for the overall health of my children, me and my marriage…to take a break. If you don’t have the money to get a babysitter and go out all the time, try these creative date night ideas!
- To Invest in Each Other – Investing in each other and your relationship is paramount to maintaining a solid marriage. Make sure to set aside time to truly answer the “How was your day?” and “How was work?” questions. Don’t skip over these. Take time out to answer these questions daily if possible, but definitely on those date nights. How will you know when your wife needs a break if you don’t know how her days have been? How will you know if your husband is having issues at work, if you never let him say more than “fine,” before running off to the next task? Date Nights are a time you set aside to stay connected with each other!
- To Talk about something other than your children – If you’re like my husband and I, we usually spend our “date nights” talking about the kids. We have 5 children and they make up most of our days right now, so we have a lot to discuss. However, I would encourage you to take a step back from parenthood and focus on your marriage – your relationship with each other – on these date nights. While I know there are times you need to discuss your children, try to reserve your date nights for YOU. If you’re having trouble coming up with topics to talk about or just want to add a bit of fun to your date nights, check out my 100 Christian Date Night Conversation Starters!
These cards are a simple and fun way to reconnect, learn new things and enjoy each others company. Add them to your cart and checkout. Then download them, print, cut apart and laminate! Put them in a box or baggie and to take with you on your next date night. Or pull them out one evening while you’re sitting around watching TV and laugh together!